To delight in war is a merit in the soldier, a dangerous quality in the captain, and a positive crime in the statesman. — George Santayana It is well that war is so terrible, otherwise we should grow too fond of it. — Robert E. Lee When I was a kid in the turbulent 1960s, […]
March 3, 2019
I will now perform a magic trick using only words. They will appear on your screen as a complete, grammatically correct sentence with proper syntax and a clear meaning. AND YET … You will be unable to remember it! First, some background: Deep in the ancient past, humans lived in small tribal groups, hunting and […]
January 6, 2019
I was chatting with a friend who was a bit tense over a possible love interest. Trying to get him to laugh, I made a raunchy comment about the woman — couched in terms that made fun of me, not her, but still risqué — and he got upset. Oops. Later he told me he […]
November 18, 2018
All my misfortunes have been my honored teachers. — anon. Sometimes bad things hit you in waves. First an election goes badly for your side. Then your favorite night spot gets shot up by a madman, and people you know are murdered for no reason. Then fires break out around the city and you must […]
September 30, 2018
A man of financial wealth who values himself by his financial net worth is poorer than a poor man who values himself by his intrinsic self worth. — Sydney Madwed Shortly after I made my first billion, I got invited to a very swank, exclusive party. All the invitees were billionaires. This would be a […]
June 24, 2018
“Are you ready?” “For what?” “The next natural disaster. They always happen eventually. I’m fully prepared to handle anything.” “Good for you.” “So have you made preparations?” “Let’s see, I’ve got extra food and water, flashlights—” “But is it enough?” “Well, I can’t be sure I’ve thought of every—” “It’s never enough!” […]
May 28, 2018
“You are exceeding the speed limit.” “I’m late for work.” “The posted speed limit for this highway is sixty-five miles per hour. You are driving at seventy-three miles per hour, eight miles over the limit. If you persist, I am required by law to issue you a ticket.” “Don’t you dare, Car! You belong to […]
May 20, 2018
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. — Benjamin Franklin A friend asks, “How’s your new job?” You reply, “It’s okay.” “It’s not great?” “Well, there’s a lot of politics. I have to be careful.” You friend nods. “I know the drill. Is it one person against you, or just the […]
April 29, 2018
We shape our tools and thereafter our tools shape us. — Marshall McLuhan Sometimes Siri is a moron — it’s hard to use, misunderstands questions, and often gives useless answers. Siri — for those of you living under a rock — is a search agent built into the iPhone. You talk to it, requesting information […]
March 18, 2018
I have been sexually harassed, I have been sexually abused, and I have been date-raped. And, don’t tell me they are all the same, because they are not. They are not the same. . . . And, I don’t want to throw everybody on the same manure pile. Being a jerk is not the same […]
February 11, 2018
Faith is trusting so much that God is fond of us that we just fricken relax. — Nadia Bolz-Weber “Look, being homosexual is a choice! It has to be.” “Why?” “Because God wouldn’t create a person whose yearnings violate His Law. That would be sadistic.” “Are you saying God would never deliberately create somebody who’s […]
January 28, 2018
Ever notice how championship teams usually come from the largest urban centers? In America since 1980 the NBA has been dominated by teams from Los Angeles (#2 in population), Houston (#4), San Antonio (#7), and — lately — Oakland, part of the huge San Francisco metro area (#5). In baseball since 1980, New York (#1), […]
December 17, 2017
If you’re a person who complains about everything all the time, then you’re just the boy who cried ‘wolf.’ But if you do it on occasion and about the right reasons, then people listen. — Bryan Cranston At the height of the Vietnam War sit-ins, The New Yorker admonished protesters about using the word “totalitarian” […]
December 10, 2017
Several years ago, an old guy got into my mirror. He looks just like me except much older. It’s always a surprise: I walk into the bathroom, expecting to see my 30-year-old self in the glass, and instead I stare into the eyes of an elderly man. He looks, I dunno, like a retired […]
March 17, 2019
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