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Browsing All Posts filed under »Humor«
Reparations — a short story
You don’t right the wrongs of the past by wronging the people of the present. ― Phil Valentine Once we start down the road to reparations, every minority will want a piece of the action. — Quippy Dear Senator Cory Booker: Thank you for introducing a Senate bill to form a commission to study the […]
Ultimate War Games
March 17, 2019
To delight in war is a merit in the soldier, a dangerous quality in the captain, and a positive crime in the statesman. — George Santayana It is well that war is so terrible, otherwise we should grow too fond of it. — Robert E. Lee When I was a kid in the turbulent 1960s, […]
Quippy on a Soapbox
January 20, 2019
The Quip Monster dropped by the office the other day, took over a desk, commandeered a laptop, and began typing away, claws clicking. He kept taking swigs from a flask, spilled some on a stack of papers, burped and growled a lot, then got up and waddled off. We looked at the laptop and found […]
Humor or Bullying?
January 6, 2019
I was chatting with a friend who was a bit tense over a possible love interest. Trying to get him to laugh, I made a raunchy comment about the woman — couched in terms that made fun of me, not her, but still risqué — and he got upset. Oops. Later he told me he […]
God in the Eyes
December 23, 2018
Out of nothing I have created a strange new universe. — Janos Bolyai Is there a God? I have no idea. But if there is one, He (or She or It) ought to be really, really impressive. The standard God who watches the Game Board of the Universe and occasionally moves some of the pieces, is so … so … human. And that’s a […]
I Lost Her at the Voting Booth — a short story
November 4, 2018
Insanity in individuals is something rare, but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs, it is the rule. — Friedrich Nietzsche Politics can be hard on relationships. Take me, for instance. I had a girlfriend who broke up with me on Election Day. We’d been together only a few weeks. Already some of her stuff was […]
The Perfect Face — a short story
October 28, 2018
Where there is perfection there is no story to tell. — Ben Okri “Hey, sweetie, long time! Glad you could make it.” “Thanks for inviting me. How long has it been?” “Since college.” “That long? Well, it’s great to see you in person, not just on Facebook. And you look beautiful.” “Thank you. Getting enough […]
The Billionaire Soirée — a short story
September 30, 2018
A man of financial wealth who values himself by his financial net worth is poorer than a poor man who values himself by his intrinsic self worth. — Sydney Madwed Shortly after I made my first billion, I got invited to a very swank, exclusive party. All the invitees were billionaires. This would be a […]
Discuss or Argue? — a short story
August 19, 2018
A man must be excessively stupid, as well as uncharitable, who believes there is no virtue but on his own side. – Joseph Addison “So, what do you think about climate change?” “You mean, which side am I on?” “Well…” “In my experience, nobody who asks that kind of question ever wants to hear my […]
Glakreg, cont. — a short story
July 8, 2018
[Glakreg’s story begins at this link] No one knows they’re not dreaming. Not one of us. Not ever. Not for one single moment of our lives. — Doctor Who I was doing fine until I set off the quantum fluctuation. It’s been trouble ever since. I was finishing up my college physics project, an experiment […]
Superiority — a short story
June 24, 2018
“Are you ready?” “For what?” “The next natural disaster. They always happen eventually. I’m fully prepared to handle anything.” “Good for you.” “So have you made preparations?” “Let’s see, I’ve got extra food and water, flashlights—” “But is it enough?” “Well, I can’t be sure I’ve thought of every—” “It’s never enough!” […]
Quippy the Grump
June 10, 2018
The only known member of the species Snarkius quippicus — we call him Quippy — always shows up at The JimBlog out of nowhere, unannounced. He tramps into the newsroom, plops down at a desk, commandeers a computer, and plinks out a page of copy. He then hands it to our editor and stomps off […]
The Ticket — a short story
May 28, 2018
“You are exceeding the speed limit.” “I’m late for work.” “The posted speed limit for this highway is sixty-five miles per hour. You are driving at seventy-three miles per hour, eight miles over the limit. If you persist, I am required by law to issue you a ticket.” “Don’t you dare, Car! You belong to […]
How to Spill the Beans
May 20, 2018
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. — Benjamin Franklin A friend asks, “How’s your new job?” You reply, “It’s okay.” “It’s not great?” “Well, there’s a lot of politics. I have to be careful.” You friend nods. “I know the drill. Is it one person against you, or just the […]
Siri: Stop!
April 29, 2018
We shape our tools and thereafter our tools shape us. — Marshall McLuhan Sometimes Siri is a moron — it’s hard to use, misunderstands questions, and often gives useless answers. Siri — for those of you living under a rock — is a search agent built into the iPhone. You talk to it, requesting information […]
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May 20, 2019
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