God and Gays — a short story

Posted on 2018 February 11

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Faith is trusting so much that God is fond of us that we just fricken relax. — Nadia Bolz-Weber

“Look, being homosexual is a choice! It has to be.”

“Why?”

“Because God wouldn’t create a person whose yearnings violate His Law. That would be sadistic.”

“Are you saying God would never deliberately create somebody who’s gay?” 

“Of course not.”

“Then how do people become gay?”

“They choose it!”

“Okay, let’s agree for the moment that God at least is not a sadist. Is it possible that maybe He’s … a teacher?”

“What do you mean?”

“Many children are born into tough circumstances. Their families are impoverished, or war-torn, or abusive, or disease-ridden. Or they’re born with crippling deformities or mental disabilities. Or their parents die too soon.”

“Yeah, so what?”

“So each of those kids goes through Hell on Earth. They must be tempted, by the painful unfairness of it all, to reject God and goodness and instead become bad — abusers, criminals, rapists, murderers.”

“Maybe. But what’s your point?”

“My point is that God tests us to see what we’re made of. And not just the handicapped or the abused. He tests all of us, in some way or another. And not just one time, but many times during our lives.”

“What’s that got to do with homosexuals?”

“Everything. Being born blind, or abused, or starved — or gay or lesbian — those are all tests. And I’ll wager it’s not any easier being good people whose dads beat them than it is being good while attracted to others of the same sex. Both are tests of spirit. Heck, we all get tempted with sex, yet we’re only supposed to do it during marriage, and most of us break that Law of God many times.”

“Well…”

“And we fail the test.”

“Then at least you agree gays are bad.”

“No. Personally, I don’t care one way or the other what turns people on. But let’s assume God thinks gayness is bad. Might He choose to create it anyway, as a test of spirit? I mean, priests can’t marry, though I’m sure many of them have agonized about wanting to have sex.”

“Aha! You’re saying gays shouldn’t act on their impulses.”

“I’m saying God might test some people with that temptation.”

“It still sounds sadistic.”

“As does being born with club feet or abusive parents.”

“Okay, okay! It’s an interesting idea, testing people. But that doesn’t make being gay a good thing.”

“Maybe. Or maybe God creates gayness for His own reasons, then warns others not to mimic it. Maybe gays have a special place in His plan, a place the rest of us are forbidden to enter.”

“Now you sound crazy.”

“Lots of animal species have small percentages that are gay. And gay people tend to have siblings with larger families, in part because they may spend more time helping to raise their nieces and nephews, which explains why their DNA keeps surviving when you’d assume gay genes would die out.”

“Uh … what?”

“I’m saying that maybe gays have a purpose. And besides, God loves all his creations, so if we curse gays, we’re cursing God’s work. If you’re a devout Christian, that alone should give you pause.”

“It sounds like maybe you’re gay. And you’re making excuses for yourself.”

“As it happens, I’m not gay. But I am interested in living in a society where people aren’t at each other’s throats over issues best settled privately. As in: ‘Whatever you do, as long as you don’t spill it all over me, it’s between you and God.'”

“But the Bible says—”

“Yes, I’ve heard. There are a lot of rules and penalties in Leviticus that nobody wants to push today. Times have changed. I’m trying to offer solace to evangelicals. You guys are seriously losing the culture war on this issue. Wouldn’t it be nice if you didn’t have to wage a lost cause? Wouldn’t it be a relief to decide that maybe God has His mysterious ways, and gays are His problem, not yours, and you can relax about it?”

“You sound like you think you’re an expert on what God wants.”

“Of course not. It’s arrogant to assume we can read the Mind of God. My point is that evangelicals can ease up on the issue. Besides, there’s no way I can know what God thinks — I’m agnostic.”

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