Stray Quippy

Posted on 2017 May 14


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It’s easy to tell that our old friend Quippy has something important to say: he’ll show up at The JimBlog’s editorial offices, commandeer a computer, and start typing away, talons clicking furiously. We don’t object, partly on account of those talons and partly because Quippy always has interesting and pithy things to say about life and society.  So take it away, Quipster!

* * * *

Magic genies of yore granted wishes, often with tragic results; today we should be careful what we yearn for from technology, because we might get it — good and hard.

Among civilizations, whoever visits first conquers the other. This will apply also to alien planets.

The Star Trek transporter doesn’t move you around; it kills you and replaces you with an identical copy.

If money is like water flowing through the pipes of the hyper-modern economy, I want my bucket under a leak.

Humans aren’t rational. They make decisions emotionally, then use logic as tech support.

You won’t live forever from doing well, but you will die if you do badly enough. It’s more important to avoid a poor choice than to make a good one.

What you think is inevitable you will never fix.

It’s easy to criticize others for failings we don’t have. Likewise, it’s easy to make excuses when they criticize us for our own failings. So criticism is a waste of time.

Writing about politics is also a waste because your readers either cheer or turn the page, but they never change their minds.

Arguing over politics is like a family of alcoholics quarreling over what to drink.

Getting involved in politics is like discussing religion at the dinner table — no good can come of it.

It’s always interesting to hear people, who otherwise wouldn’t hurt a fly, suggest we nuke nations that offend them.

We keep believing our political system will finally make things better the way Charlie Brown believes Lucy will finally hold the football.

Politics isn’t about good citizenship. Good citizenship is helping your neighbors; politics is punishing them.

Saying, “You owe it to the community” is like robbing someone and then scolding them when they’re not grateful.

Democracy doesn’t free us from tyranny; it just gives us a vote in it.

The only real virtue of democracy is that it’s better than civil war.

When Alexander cut the Gordian Knot, he sliced a ball of rope. But when most people cut Knots in their own lives, they split themselves in half.

The human problem in a nutshell: one hand writes while the other hand tries to control it.

Hoping to reach our dreams in life is like working for a boss who says, “If you strive hard enough, I might give you a raise.” Right, sure.

Life is like Vegas: you have a random stream of wins and losses while you hope for a big score, and finally you’re broke.

Your life function is to move your DNA forward in time. Whether you’re happy or not is incidental.

* * * *

…Well, now, wasn’t that cheerful! Still, thanks as always, Quippy, for your pointed, if somewhat gloomy, perspective. Pessimists do tend to be more accurate than optimists, and Quippy always provides words to the wise. We’re tempted to say, “Quippy is cranky so you don’t have to be!” (But we won’t say it to Quippy’s face. You know: talons.)