Science Terms, Re-Explained

Posted on 2016 March 13


%22science terms, re-explained%22 Science_fascination

Hey, Teach! I know what all those scientific words mean! Here, I’ll show you:

Natural selection — buying organic food

Imaginary numbers — answers students come up with in math class

Geographic isolation — trapped in a room full of old nature magazines

Quantum uncertainty — failure to remember the plot of a recent James Bond movie

Orienteering — going native in Asia

Coriolis Effect — dizziness from spinning to the right

Coriolanus Effect — dizziness from reading too much Shakespeare

Sonic boom — flatulence from too many drive-in burgers

Darwinian selection — voting in northern Australia

Climate change — altering a route up a mountainside

Complex variables — things you must consider when managing your hang-ups

Polynomial — a mathematician from Fiji

Math — the weight of a person with a speech disorder

Photon — when the picture app on your phone is running

Hydraulics — talking slow in a falsetto

Meteorology — looking for shooting stars

Physics — listening to the bubbles in your carbonated beverage

Astrophysics — the science of proctology

Trigonometry — calculating when to shoot a gun

Magnetic field — a very attractive sports park

Telemetry — how to answer when they ask, “What’s that shady thing outside?”

Friction — what Carnegie did to his second-in-command after the steel-mill riots [Go ahead, look it up. I’ll wait.]

Photoelectric effect — the social buzz about your new camera

Stereochemistry — what your sound system is made of

Cosmology — the study of makeup

Stellar astronomy — doing a really good job while studying the stars

Cryogenics — what makes people weep

Psychophysics — science done by nut jobs

Relativity — the study of your family

Zoology — looking at animals in cages

Genome — where Gene lives

Gas Law — (see “Sonic boom”)

Orbit — a little tiny piece of metal they found on the ground

Scientific method — how to train scientists to perform onstage

Elephantidae — a very sick pachyderm

Classical mechanics — a bunch of car-repair guys playing violins

…See? I know what I’m talking about!