Quippy on a Roll

Posted on 2015 October 17

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PolitiQuippy

When petty disputes — trigger words, plastic bags, cigarette butts — cast long shadows, it’s a sure sign the sun is setting. 

We send armies to bring freedom to other people … and kill anyone who resists.  

We make a virtue of “changing the world”, but what we mean is “forcing it to obey.”

Trying to improve humans is like herding cats. And you can develop an allergy.

Political movements begin in anger, but anger can’t solve a conflict — it can only fight. This means all great crusades, even if they look wonderful, don’t do jack for the world as a whole.

Anyone on the Left who says “You are your brother’s keeper” is misquoting a guy who murdered his own brother.

A major problem with abortion is that it loosens a man’s grip on his wife.

Feminists believe men are over-aggressive women with body hair who should sit down and shut up. 

When we look for someone to blame, it’s never us.

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BizQuippy:

If people hate business, why do they buy so much stuff?

The old way is being loyal. The new way is sticking to the contract. 

It’s foolish for colleges to teach career specialties when computers will replace nearly all professions. Better to instruct in how to be useful. That’s worth a degree. 

Someday we’ll have tiny computers implanted in our heads. Aside from upgrading our math skills, it will delete the need for formal schooling — we’ll just download whatever we want to know. 

Great innovations never come from respectable people. 

While everyone argues about what laws to pass to make things better, businesses just go and solve the problems — low-cost smartphones as personal assistants, Uber for transport, TaskRabbit for jobs, Bitcoin for trade.

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SocioQuippy:

Trying to win approval from others is like renting a car: you have to keep paying or they take it back.

People who think they’ve found their soul mates are simply lovers who get extreme pleasure from each other’s devotion — like finding the parents they always wanted. Frankly, it’s a somewhat creepy way to engage in sex.  

Drivers who are in a hurry in traffic have contempt for those who aren’t. 

If your sex bot flirts with another person and you destroy it in a rage, is it murder? 

In war, you don’t want to be the last soldier to die after the armistice is signed. In the future, you won’t want to be the last person to die of old age.

We wish everyone we love to live forever, and everyone we hate to suffer and die endlessly — Aha! That’s where religions got the idea.  

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Three Sheets Quippy:

A philosopher is like a playgoer who wanders backstage.  

We watch action movies, and the heroes are so awesome, we can’t hope to compare with them, so we end up inspired and discouraged. 

Infants often seem dull and out of it, as if nobody is there. They’re like houses under construction where the owners show up only on weekends. 

Sure, sleep feels good, but its real purpose is to move the clock forward. And no one knows why.

Humans are basically sacks full of goo that figured out how to launch themselves to the moon. That is so weird.

(…But look who’s talking…)

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