Don’t Meet Your Heroes

Posted on 2015 July 16


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Bob Hope: popular and courageous entertainer / tendency to flirt while married

Max Baer Jr: TV’s beloved Jethro / sparring partner to girlfriends

Paul Reubens: Pee-Wee to millions / found with his pee-wee out

Mel Gibson: award-winning actor-producer / minor disagreement with Jews

Michael Jackson: the Fred Astaire of pop music / odd hobby as baby sitter

Bill Cosby: Everybody’s favorite TV dad / promoter of quaaludes


Pete Rose: best hitter in baseball / slight gambling problem

Tonya Harding: champion skater / overly competitive

OJ Simpson: spectacular running back / knife fetish

Tiger Woods: best golfer / minor incident with wife’s putter   

Lance Armstrong: best road cyclist / slight substance-abuse issue

Hope Solo: best female goalkeeper / tendency to roughhouse with youths


Charles Keating: Lincoln Savings CEO / slight cash-flow problem

Steve Jobs: brilliant inventor / tendency to raise voice

Kenneth Lay: Enron CEO / slight cash-flow problem

Donald Trump: billionaire investor / nervous around Latinos


John Kennedy: Camelot president / tendency to flirt

Richard Nixon: Vietnam-era president / not a crook

Bill Clinton: Millennial president / tendency to flirt

George W Bush: 9/11 president / mild dislike of Saddam Hussein


Football players: exemplars of toughness / tendency to box with girlfriends

Actors: portrayers of greatness / attracted to mirrors

Tycoons: purveyors to the masses / tendency to hire senators as assistants

Politicians: protectors of the masses / occasional candor issues

Priests: counsellors to Catholics / tendency to over-mentor their acolytes

Bloggers: purveyors of uncommon perspectives / tendency to play with selves