Two Quippy — Or, One of These Will Tick You Off

Posted on 2014 August 28

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People believe, not what’s true, but what makes them feel good. This is why we do stupid things over and over.

We’re offended by others because we think we’re entitled to their behavior.

People complain about life because bitching and moaning worked on their parents, so maybe it’ll work on God or Nature. 

When caught being naughty, celebrities and politicians always lie, which always makes their situation worse.

Public figures almost never apologize because such concessions can be used against them in court.

Money talks — in politics and courtrooms and boardrooms and bedrooms — and the trick to getting some isn’t to resent rich people but to sell stuff to them.

Ethics is for people who don’t know how to haggle.

These days, democracy is all about entitlement.

The wealthy own gigantic houses, not because they need to, but because they can.

The U.S. launches wars against other nations, not because it needs to, but because it can.

When America intervenes in world affairs, it’s like a drunk trying to cure a drunk.

Political parties and sports teams are for people who need a tribe.

We can’t imagine how anyone would support the other political party unless they’re somehow depraved; thus, politics devolves into organized paranoia.

Having government fix things is like licking chapped lips.

Progressivism is the state religion; conservatism is the resistance movement.

Nearly all the great men in history commanded huge armies that slaughtered masses of civilians; thus we can gauge historical greatness by how many humans were killed.

We work and play with, and are friends and lovers with, people our ancestors would have attacked with a sword.

Men are drawn to women’s beauty; women are drawn to men’s power.

Women talk about people; men talk about things.

Romantic love is for adults who still ache for their parents.

The human brain grew huge so women could chat.

Yes, IQ varies genetically among peoples, but so do all other forms of intelligence, including those hard to gauge with a multiple-choice test.

People aren’t better or worse than you; they’re different. Get over it.

By the time you’ve watched a zillion episodes of “Star Trek”, you’ve encountered too many admirable alien species to be a racist.

“Doctor Who” is an intelligent and highly regarded TV show, but if you watch it you’re a hopeless nerd.

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